Wednesday, August 10, 2011

For $25 you get Egg Roll

"I'd like to thank the Academy, my fellow nominees and all the little people who made this possible."-Excerpted from my Worst Mom of the Year acceptance speech 2011 (I don't want to get ahead of myself and think this may be my only winning year).

So, Caroline got in the car with Brian last Tuesday when he picked her up from school and she was wailing, "MOMMY forgot to sign me up for gymnastics!!!" Brian called me and asked what she was talking about? I had no idea...I wasn't expecting a comment from her like that for at least another 8 or 9 years. So, I figured maybe one of her little friends had been signed up somewhere and was telling all the kids in their class about (BTW, I loathe other people's children for this exact reason...time you knew that.)

Anywho, I guessed at who the little culprit might be and happened to see his/her Mom in the parking lot at drop off the next morning. MUCH to my consternation she said yes she had signed "little one" up and the classes are at school...during school the gym. THEN she tells me that the classes started the day before and EVERY KID (read that again...EVERY KID) in Caroline's class was signed up...except her. I pictured them putting her in a dark room alone during gymnastics hour as punishment for having such a LAME Mom.

So, I went to the Director and said "How was this publicized?" She said signs, flyers and a take home paper. Geez. Could I feel more like the scum on the belly on the worm at the bottom of the ocean (i.e. as low as it goes?).

So although we got there a round-the-back kind of way, it worked out GREAT!I didn't have to take her anywhere...all I had to do was pay my money (just $25 smackers a month) and she was set to be the next Mary Lou Retton!

So, the big day arrived and Caroline was SUPER excited to get to school for class. When I saw her that evening I confidently asked "How was class today...what did you learn?" To which she, laid down on the ground, pulled her knees to her chest and rolled around on the floor..."I learned Egg Roll!" And that, my friends, is what you get from a $25 gymnastics class that "every other kid in her class is in, that she would die alone if she didn't take, and stressed me out enough to think I had damaged her permanently (that will come soon enough)-gymnastics class.

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